A happy child is the window to your home. Every window tells a story!

I am sure, my readers will agree that when we were young, there were rarely any mothers who raised their voices, were aggressive, lost control of emotions in fury or yelled their vocal chords out. The image of the ‘old moms’ was poised, calm and composed. What happened in the last 25-30 years? I wonder. As young mothers, we often fall into distress, mounting impulsiveness and emotionally so volatile that it seems all of us are carrying a volcano inside ready to explode. Ironically, the victims are our innocent kids, crying, howling and still coming back to hug us more tightly inspite of our never ending fury. A warm embrace from them and a kiss on the cheek leaves us teary eyed, enough to raise our guilt spree and ashamed of our demeanour a little while ago.

A common picture in all homes is an uncontrolled aggression, a few slaps or shouting especially when those little fingers are on their study tables doing a homework. As a mother myself and a Life coach, it is easy to understand the genuine self conflict and confusion of mothers’ without getting judgemental. I can resonate their state of mind, the upsurge of mounting stress and the inability to self control or avoid a raised voice on the toddlers. Today, I thank those young women who confided in me and made me realise that it is a genuine serious issue that needs to be addressed to a larger audience. I thank them for being honest and innocent in coming up with this dilemma. I can vouch, it is never easy to speak up on this!

It is rightly said ‘one thought can change your mind’! It truly does. Hence, the next time, the young moms superbly handling the life challenges of being a working mother or a beautiful home maker loose their patience, heres’ how to balance your emotions and impulsiveness when yelling at those chubby faces, the sparkling eyes and the joyful smiles;

Tip 1: When your child rebels and does not listens (that will often happen), remind yourself, you have to be a strategist when it comes to get things done with these minions! Lower your voice and replace your instructions by lifting them to get the work done very warmly. ‘Do it together’ is the rule. Replace a scolding with tickling. Believe me, it works wonders especially when waking up a child for school, dressing up or when you have to drop them somewhere on time.

Tip 2: The most horrifying time in the day of a mother & a child is when you make them study. First have a glass of water, take 5-6 times deep breaths, fix up an alarm. If your child will run away in 20 minutes, make them study only for 15 minutes. Before they get distracted, you should leave them early. This way, they will start enjoying their work and not treat it as a boring activity. This also helps the child make a bond with the mother and realise that its better and much easy to study with her rather rush for a tuition. (a common excuse for tuitions of 4+ is that they don’t study seriously with us). Try to understand, tutoring is not the solution. A child learns the best from her own parents. Don’t burden them so early with tuitions. Even a graduate mom can teach a toddler. Make sure to take the onus of educating your child yourself. A child that has studied from a parent will be a much more confident and a balanced child. Early tutoring is one of the reasons among children from losing interest in studies at an early age. (no offence to the tutors)

Tip 3: When you feel impatient with the child or had had a bad day, it is natural to raichen it on the child. Sadly, the children are the easiest soft targets because of their inability to respond back or retaliate as compared to elders. Always keep this thought alive, “understand the logic behind having a child in your home. It is a soul that was connected in some life with you and your family. It may have been your spouse, your parent, a sibling or a very dear friend. It is because of this account balance that a particular soul becomes your child. Just think of the intensity that a particular soul must have taken to find and enter your womb. It must have rejected many other wombs to find you. It is a matter of pride and a great responsibility on your shoulders to create an ambience at home for the soul that is your child now. It should not have to repent to have become a part of you. Always remember, you are known by your child. A happy child is the window to your home. Every window tells a story! Tip 4: Keep reminding yourself of the above thought. It doesn’t means that you have to over pamper or spoil the child but this one thought will rush into your beta waves when your anger energy starts boiling. Keep repeating this thought every moment. Among human relationships’, the bond between a mother and a child is the closest to compassion even more than a father. It should be our utmost wisdom that we build a happy and emotionally settled future generation. When I get cases of marital disputes or emotional imbalance, the root cause in most cases is an unfulfilled childhood, an aggressive parent and a bag of bad memories.

• 

This results in self created hurdles and issues that lead to mind disorders; later.

So gear up moms’! Let your tag line be “If you want to be in your child’s tomorrow, build loving memories with them today”

All the best to the young ladies out there. Wishing you a blissful motherhood and a commitment to raise a joyful generation.