Dare Anybody Insults My Beloved Alto

This was a few days ago when I was driving down to my bank in my Mercedes Benz. I mean my Alto 800. I can only dream about owning a Mercedes till Ambanis or Tatas decide to own me. Kya zindagi hogi tab! Ek dum Jhakaaas!!

While everybody in the family gets to inherit or buy decent cars, I get to inherit only Alto 800. It’s been ten years now!

Not that I am complaining. I honestly love the car. I am very happy with it. It is small. It is light. It is easily manoeuvrable. I don’t have to worry about it’s parking also. If I want, I can take it straight into the safal dairy and park it there, without any hassles. It is so compact and hence manageable. Most importantly, it gives a great mileage. Mileage is THE criteria for us Indians. Isn’t it? Even for a marriage. Marriage too should give a great mileage to be qualified for a good marriage. 

Jokes apart. Alto is an easy peasy car. Unfortunately it drives a very low respect on the roads. People think nothing of you if you are driving an Alto and tend to bully you. Although, for not a very confident driver like me, it perfectly serves the purpose.

If you ask me, I actually always wanted a yellow Nano. I would find it very cute. I would call it ‘Little Nimbu’. Would dream of just me and my doggie driving away in our “Little Nimbu”. I wanted a yellow one specifically because yellow is strikingly visible even from a long distance. It would have saved me a lot of hassle while driving. Other drivers on the road would have spotted a swinging car on the road from far also and given me way. Hence, saved their lives and mine too. 

However, my family did not let me buy it. 

Anyhow bygones are bygones. Why hold on to the nano past. 

The other day when I was driving down to my bank, I noticed a Fortuner owner trying to bully me. I was on a busy service road, which had cars parked on both it’s sides. Honestly, I get really pissed when I see service roads being used as parking lots. Sooo not done! I had no where to go except for moving straight. However, this guy kept honking at me. 

I initially tried to ignore  him.  Phir usko Mann hee Mann dilli waali khoob gaaliyaan dee. Finally,  popped my head out of my car window and screamed, “kya hae… Udd ke jaaoon kya…!!!” But no, the arse didn’t budge. I understood. All he was trying to do was bully me. I had to fix that guy some how. Badi gaadi hae to kya. Road iske pita ji ki ho gayee…!! Alto ki koi izzat nahin..!!

I stopped my car right there in the middle of the service road and turned my radio on. As it is it was my favorite Kishore da singing. I just wish it was“aa dekhen zaraa. Kis mein kitna hae dum…” It have been the most befitting song for that situation. 

Anyways, bugger kept honking but I did not budge. Finally, he got down from his elephant. I mean his Fortuner. He came and I pretended that I was not able to start my car. 

“Kya madam, can’t you hear I have been

Honking for long..”  he said in a very rude tone.

“Bhaiya, I can hear your honking very well. But it seems, you have a weak eyesight and you are not able to see what’s going on in here. Something has gone wrong and I am not able to start my car…” I said. 

“Ab teen lakh kee gaadi leke ghoomoge to yahi hoga..”  he was sarcastic. 

O Teri. How dare he said that! How dare he insults my beloved Alto! My Dhanno! My jeevan sathi! I have spent more time with my Alto than I have with my miyan. I have such beautiful memories of going veggie and grocery shopping in my Alto. Picking up and dropping my son for his endless classes in my Alto. Going for my yoga classes in my Alto. How dare he look down upon my Alto (although technically from a Fortuner, he will have to look down only). 

After all, gaadi ke bhee sentiments hote hain!  

“Ooooooh hellooo… aapki gaadi tees lakh ki hae na…?” I was annoyed. 

“Haan ji madam ji.” He responded with a very nasty smile and tones of annoying arrogance on his face. 

“To aapki gaadi aur meri gaadi mein sirf ek “zero” ka difference hae aur yahi teen (3) lakh ki gaadi ne aaj aapki tees (30) lakh ki gaadi ko beech sadak mein rok diya!  Woh haathi aur chinti ki kahani suni hae na…!! Ya suna doon yahin pe?” I lashed out. 

The guy quietly got back into his truck. 

written by Somali Bammi

All rights reserved @somalibammi

Read More

Leave a Reply

Back To Top
Open chat