Remember the very famous TV Soap, Hum Panch?sibling
I grew up watching it and always thought having a sister would be a cool thing!
Those sisters were so different from one another yet so united against the world. They always had each other’s back and were together in all the mischief. It all looked so much fun. We are three siblings and the relationship I have with them is like sugar and spice.
So when we hear about sibling’s rivalry, is it really a thing?
Like how we choose our friends or partners, we don’t have a choice over our sibling. We are biologically tied up. It’s the longest relationship we live with. Even Longer than with our parents, friends, colleagues and partners. Like how we say “blood is thicker than water”.
Your childhood with your siblings can either be a base for a future friendship or a long rivalry for life. How it is dealt with in the very beginning, is how it will shape up in the future. Some cannot live without their brother or sister, whereas some cannot bear the sight of each other. Disagreements along with frequent fights are a normal part of growing with your siblings.
Psychotherapist Philip Hodson quoted, “Siblings fight because one has displaced another.”
Reading this quote, I once had a very different thought at a time when I was visiting my relatives over Rakhi.
My father was patiently waiting for his turn for the Rakhi to be tied on his arm, whereas I felt a bit of jealousy on my brother’s face while I was tying one on one of my other cousin’s wrist.
I wondered what the reason could be? Was he more important than any of the other brothers? Did he envy them for trying to take his position? The other day he was fighting with me over a toffee but now he wanted his sister to be only his. There, I saw a stark difference between the two generations; where parents earlier had 7-8 kids who never had such rivalry and nowadays, children who have 1 or 2 siblings struggle for their personal space and attention amongst themselves and even when it comes to attention from the parents. When there is an age gap of more than 3 or 4 years between siblings, the elder child who once enjoyed all attention and privileges to himself will struggle to share and compromise.
We as parents can take a few steps to maintain the right balance between them. We should give them time and space to resolve their issues amongst themselves and counsel each of them separately. Be fair and never make any one win the argument. Teach them to negotiate and compromise. Understand that their aspirations, fears, inhibitions and way of looking at life are at a very different horizon from the other child.
Parents have a very crucial role in shaping the personality of each of their child. Only they can make their child feel that he is no less a priority when his sibling needs them more than he does. They should share the love and affection and get acquitted with the fact that, after their parents, if they can rely on someone, it is their siblings. The bond will then grow beautiful with age.
Written By Rashi Vohra
Rashiohri88@gmail.com
Author Bio
Wanna indulge in a Hog-a-thon , well i am in for Pani Puris & Chicken Nuggets. Your Venue should be Picturesque because my alarm clocks are invincible on me.
