Is love enough to sustain the intricacies of a relationship between a man and a woman?
What does your inner self long for, is; Love, a sense of complete dissolution invoked by the presence of another person. Love is a state of being, an end in itself. Love has no fear and above all love can sustain being alone!
Whereas, what does your mind crave for, is; Relationship, coming together of two individuals who wish to have shared experiences. The relationship is a requirement, an initiation of desires. A relationship can’t sustain alone and here starts the challenges.
Soon relationships become an indefinite cycle of manoeuvring through insecurities, egos, expectations, and blames, just to name a few. Mind games are being played in name of emotions. Needs start taking precedence over compassion. Apparently, in the process, Love is soon forgotten. It is soon forgotten as to why they wanted to be together in the first place and what drove them to each other.
Women being more receptive and naturally being more adaptive are usually at the receiving end. It is not that men do not have their share of struggles in maintaining a relationship but generally women give in more readily than men. Why?… Is it because they are emotionally weak? Because they need physical protection? Or because they are financially dependent? Or maybe they are afraid of social isolation?… No!
None of the above reasons stand true for today’s woman… she is strong, independent, and self-reliant. And also she hardly cares about society. So why does a woman who is capable of taking a stand for so many others around her, can’t take a stand for herself in the relationship? Why does she start giving in? Why does she start losing herself? Why does she forget her likes and dislikes? Why does she start eating a certain dish because the other person likes to eat it? Why does she start wearing clothes because the other person appreciates them? Why does she start limiting her career choices? Why does she need the validation of her significant other for her decisions? Why?… It is not because a woman can’t be on their own. Not at all! It is because women have a very deep-rooted thought process in them.
When a woman is in love, she makes the other person ‘the center of her universe’!
Well it is ok to do so as far as ‘being in love’ is concerned but it does backbite in relationships. When you give this much importance to someone, their ego bloats up. Now they want to dominate you, drive your life, and make choices for you. And once the cycle is started, it is very difficult to break it. And whenever there would be any resistance from your side, you will be snapped back!
In the end, you are left wondering… Is Love enough?
So ladies… Lose yourself in Love, but try not to lose yourself in a relationship because you need to exist as a Person to be with the other person!
Chaahat tumhari bhi hai
Chaahat hamaari bhi hai
Ye himaakat tumhari bhi hai
himaakat hamaari bhi hai
Phir kis baat per yun
Akde baithe ho humdum
Zaroorat tumhari bhi hai
Zaroorat humari bhi hai !!
–By Shilpi Johri
Shilpi is a Financial Planner, Poet and Author. She can be reached at email@example.com