Children and teens, like adults, experience stress. There are a variety of reasons causing stress like peer pressure of scoring well in school, making and sustaining friendships, and managing expectations from parents, teachers, or friends.
Stress can be positive if it provides the energy to tackle a big test, presentation, or sports event. Too much stress, however, can create unnecessary hardships and challenges. Parents can sometimes be unaware when their children or teens are experiencing overwhelming feelings of stress. Tuning into emotional or behavioural cues are important in identifying potential problems and providing guidance and support to successfully work through difficult times.
Some common symptoms to identify, to find if the child has stress are:
- Negative behavioural changes Children of all ages, but especially younger children, cannot recognize and verbalize when they are experiencing stress. For children, stress can manifest itself through changes in behaviour like acting irritable or moody, withdrawing from activities that used to give them pleasure, worrying about the smallest things like packing a bag, complaining more than usual about school, crying, displaying fearful reactions, clinging to a parent or teacher, change in sleep patterns like sleeping too much or too little, or change in eating pattern like eating too much or too little.
With teens, the symptoms could be avoiding long-time friendships with a new set of peers, or expressing excessive hostility toward family members. While negative behaviour is not always linked to excessive stress, negative changes in behaviour are almost always a clear indication that something is wrong.
- Stress can make you “feel sick” Stress can also appear in physical symptoms such as stomach aches and headaches. If a child makes complains of frequent stomach aches or headaches (when there is no pathological reason found), or if these complaints increase in certain situations (e.g., before a big test), it indicates that the child may be experiencing significant stress.
- Observing the interaction with others. A child or teen may seem like his or her usual self at home, but be acting out in unusual ways in other settings. It is important for parents to know how their child or teen is doing in the world around them. Be in contact with other parents, teachers, school administrators, and extracurricular activities in charge to tap into the child or teen’s thoughts, feelings, and behaviours, and be aware of any sources of concern.
- Listen and translate Because children are often not familiar with the word stress and its meaning, they may express feelings of distress through other words such as “worried,” “confused,” “annoyed,” and “angry.” Children and teens may also express feelings of stress by saying negative things about themselves, others, or the world around them (e.g. “No one likes me,” “I’m stupid,” “Nothing is fun.”). It is important for parents to listen to these words and statements and try to figure out why their child or teen is saying them and whether they seem to indicate a source or sources of stress.
Coping With Childhood Stress
â—Ź Give your child a space where they feel protected and cared for.
â—Ź Listen to their problems without criticising them or insulting them for not being able to solve it.
â—Ź Spend time with them in a fixed routine, which will comfort them.
● Use positive reinforcement to teach them, avoiding punishment entirely. In most cases, good parenting can help relieve a child’s stress, but sometimes the stressors are too much to be countered.
Consult with your child’s paediatrician, if they are:
â—Ź Showing signs of withdrawal, depression, or unhappiness.
â—Ź Displaying excessive emotional outbursts, such as fear or rage.
â—Ź Doing badly at school or refusing to interact with people.
Shared by : Dr. Himani Narula, Developmental Behavioural Paediatrician and Adolescent Mental Health Expert & Co-Founder and Director of Continua Kids (Child Developmental Center)
