There’s an extreme discomfort that every mother lives with. It’s called ‘Mommy Guilt’.
Feeling guilty leaves you incomplete and remorseful. It can leave you anxious in between a movie, weigh you down while you’re with your friends, and scatter you when you’re on a date with your husband; basically just about anywhere. A not so good feeling creeps in and takes you away from the present.
We doubt ourselves with tons of questions – breast milk/formula milk, quality over quantity time, right food habits over occasional junk, which board is right for their future, or am I too strict or do I give in easily?
When I ponder over these thoughts, I never manage a sure shot solution. On the contrary, there never can be one. Tough emotions are a part of our contract with life, being a Mother certainly is the toughest journey you’ll embark upon.
There is no cure for this guilt because no Mother ain’t ever similar nor is her journey.
There never is a right/wrong way of parenting. Even if you have been a parent several times over, you still are fallible and realize that each child demands a different approach.
One may be a good eater, the other may be brilliant at communication skills while there may be others who are fantastic at extra activities. The comparisons are petty and huge, hence judging your motherly instinct is never a good idea.
No mother is a bad mother ever. She’ll only want the best for her child. While staging everything at stake she would still feel ‘guilty’ for not doing enough.
We mothers feel miserable in treating ourselves better. We are afraid to loosen up sometimes. Hence any activity that gives us air beneath our wings is considered ‘not appropriate’.
Do you know it’s said that the fact of not being a good mother crossing your mind indicates that you are one? The bad part-It’s unavoidable. The good part-It happens to every mommy on planet earth.
A Mother is only a Mother. Any other adjective attached to it holds no reverence. So breathe in deep and let the negative thoughts come by and drift away as soon as they occur. If you’re struggling, it means you’re progressing.
Fellow mothers, you are doing wonderful. Pat your back, brace yourself, and gallop your way to your child’s heart. It’s the most beautiful place to live in.
And remember, “A Happy Mother equals A Happy Child.”
Nidhi Rashi Pidwani
