Why We Must Normalize Sexual Conversations
Normalizing conversations around sexual pleasure is an important step toward creating a more inclusive and healthy society. But, unfortunately, we exist in a world that is ashamed to talk about its own body and desires. I have had countless encounters where I realize how conversations around sexual topics and pleasure prefer to stay hidden inside the bedroom or, even worse, bottled up inside the heart and mind. Surprisingly, as the land that wrote Kamasutra, I see an urgent need for us to reclaim conversations around sexual topics and pleasure and foster a more open and inclusive culture around sexual pleasure.
Challenging societal attitudes
Let’s begin by using proper terminology to refer to our own genitalia. Many terms like “pee-pee,” “wee wee,” “weenie,” “peenie,” “winkey,” “giney,” and “jay-jay” are commonly used in English to describe genitals. Additionally, there are countless colloquial names in different regional languages.
While a young girl referring to her vagina as “coochie” may seem cute when she is three years old, it becomes problematic when she grows up to be an adult who feels embarrassed to talk about her body and its needs. Teenagers in India, in particular, often have numerous questions about puberty that they cannot address. This creates a vicious cycle of oppression that has been perpetuated for generations, affecting both men and women in terms of their bodily autonomy.
Making sexual conversations a dinner-table conversation
Secondly, it is critical to encourage positive behaviour and questions around these topics, especially in front of kids. Kids grasp behaviours and information at a wildfire’s pace. They pay attention to every detail and imitate the same. If parents hesitate to discuss sexual issues, the kids will learn and replicate this behaviour. Parents should create a safe and vulnerable space to initiate conversations and allow children to ask questions without any shame or discomfort. They should initiate conversations about their bodies, boundaries, and consent without attaching any negative connotation to it. I firmly believe making sexual conversations a dinner-table conversation is the first step to creating a sex-positive environment- at home and in society.
Destigmatizing conversations around sexual desires and pleasure in the bedroom
Finally, as adults, we must break the cycle of stuttering, avoiding, or denying when discussing sex with our partners. Being comfortable and open about it makes the other person comfortable and they are more likely to open up about the topic as well. This can enable better awareness and understanding of the importance of sexual pleasure in our lives. Partners need to be mindful and keen on understanding each other’s sexual expectations and ensure to communicate their own too openly.
Concluding with final thoughts
I believe normalizing conversations around sexual pleasure is crucial at a societal and personal level. Certainly, it takes a concerted effort from individuals, families, and society as a whole to achieve this. By using the right terminology, encouraging positive behaviour around such topics, and breaking the cycle of discomfort and denial, we can progress toward creating a healthier and more inclusive society.
Thus, we can build a world where sexual pleasure is celebrated and enjoyed by all.
Written by : Aastha Vohra
Author’s bio
Aastha Vohra, Co-Founder & CEO of Manzuri is a leading name in the sex-tech industry is considered a force changing the narrative of sex and sex education in India. On a mission to help women prioritise their needs and take back control, whether in the bedroom or outside of it, Aastha is hell-bent on solving this for women in India.
