The way we care for our children and the environment that we cultivate affects various domains of our children’s lives, whether psychological, social, or even academic. Most importantly, this affects the kind of adults they will grow up to be. A deeper understanding of parenting styles becomes vital so you can be more sensitive while contributing to their development.
The Four Styles
Parenting styles vary across two dimensions- control and warmth towards the child. The first style is authoritarian. Parents who adopt this style are low on warmth and highly controlling. They demand their child’s unquestioned obedience. Authoritative parenting, on the other hand, involves being sensitive to the maturity of the child. They provide the right amount of affection while being fairly strict. So, they are warm and controlling in the right amount.
because they do not provide firm guidelines to their children. Lastly, let us talk about uninvolved parents. These parents are only invested in their own lives while minimally caring for their children. Their interest only extends to meeting the physical needs of their children. Therefore, they are both low on warmth and control.
Let’s identify these in real-life situations
If a child draws on the drawing room wall with crayons, an authoritarian parent will punish the child immediately or yell at them, seldom explaining their motive. They will work on controlling the child rather than the mistakes. In the same situation, an authoritative parent will most likely explain how they feel about this bad behaviour and respond to the emotions of the child. Therefore, they will be fair and reasonable with clear guidelines set for their children.
Permissive parents will let the child regulate his/her own life and will probably shrug it off saying things like “Kids will be kids.” Uninvolved parents will be indifferent to the situation and will not respond in any way. This self-absorption and indifference may turn into an extreme form of neglect.
Effects on Children
Authoritarian Parenting: The children show self-reliance, positive mood, better school performance, great emotional and social skills as well as self-confidence. They are securely attached to their caregivers and are independent and at ease during social situations.
Authoritative Parenting: The children are anxious, and withdrawn and they lack intellectual curiosity. They are not spontaneous. Permissive Parenting: The children appear immature, are less independent and find it difficult to control their impulses as their parents have not been reasonably strict. Uninvolved Parenting: The children become highly demanding and non-compliant.
Which one works the best?
Considering the above information, authoritative parenting is the most optimal for children. If we consider the Indian context, as opposed to the normative authoritarian parenting style in collectivistic cultures, there is growing evidence that authoritative rather than authoritarian is associated with positive development and mental health of the child. This is irrespective of the ethnic identity. Surprisingly, studies that include India state that an authoritarian parenting style is associated with negative psychological adjustment in the child, less family harmony, and greater conflicts. Authoritative style has been associated with positive outcomes like better peer relationships, getting good grades and being independent/self-reliant.
Suggestions
A few things parents can inculcate to follow an authoritative parenting style include:
- First and foremost, being responsive to the needs and feelings of the child
- Encourage them to talk about their feelings, problems and opinions and consequently be considerate towards those wishes while making any decisions
- Compliment them often
- Comfort them when they feel low
- Spend warm and intimate times with them
- Treat them as an equal and important member of the family
- Clearly state your expectations from them and the reasons behind the same
Shared By: Bushra Rashid,
Author’s Bio: Bushra Rashid is a BSc. in Psychology (Honours) graduate from CHRIST (Deemed to be University), Bengaluru. Having a high drive towards erudition and self-growth, she aspires to channel her passion for psychology into her expertise and serve society. She is interested in pursuing her master’s degree in Organisational Psychology.
