“बूढ़ी घोड़ी लाल लगाम” – sexist and often shrouded in a sense of humour that is expected to be accepted as friendly banter. his is a saying in Hindi that is often used to sarcastically question the motives and character of any lady usually in her late 30s and beyond who doesn’t appear sartorially or behave in terms of general conduct the way she should, as per her age, according to the norms of our society.
Hitherto unknown to me, I recently came across this idiom during my conversation with someone close to me and upon learning the meaning, I felt terrible over the way our society tries to subtly foist its disapproval upon someone, especially a female, in this case, that doesn’t fit its definition, description, or viewpoint of what’s appropriate, using such pathetic, disparaging sarcasm. Quite often, we men who manage to appear, dress, behave and think younger than our current age can get away easily with the tag of being a ‘charmer’, someone still ‘young at heart with a striking personality, a maverick and even a dapper debonair!
However, we are not so charitable and forgiving when it comes to our female counterparts doing the same.
Probably, we are not conditioned to see and appreciate ageing females doing the same, picking up the trend by dressing brighter, prettier, working on their bodies, and maintaining themselves and whatever remnant of youth they have by their side by the way of their choices and lifestyles.
Somehow, their behaviour comes across to our sensibilities as not just outlandish, but also outrageous to our idea of modesty and ageing with grace. We fail to realise that all of us have this innate desire to stay young forever, to somehow reverse the process of ageing, and are quick to discourage and even disparagingly refer to a lady who attempts to not let the spring of mental youth inside her be overshadowed by the autumn of physical/biological spring.
How sad it is !!
Yeah, I know, this post could have been more appropriate on the 8th of March of any year when all of us, for a day, like to indulge ourselves in the charade of celebration of the womenfolk and womanhood all over, but I wouldn’t want my name, my words, or my mark on something as fleeting as the duration of just a day. I hope that we all can be more accepting and welcoming of ideas that introduce a change, a departure from the norms, and be a society that is not just on the top in terms of GDP and technological breakthroughs & architectural marvels, but also the one where there is greater acceptability, space, and respect for dignity and individuality among the members pursuing their ways of living a life that feels and seems better and more fulfilling to them.
By Mayank Muley
Author’s bio:
A working professional, chained to his desk from 10 to 6, who dreams of retiring early while he is still young (and handsome) and be able to head to the mountains to own a hill-house, built of oak and deodar woods, that would have a window opening up to a view of snow-clad mountains up ahead at some distance from where the chilly mountain breeze infused with a mild smell of pines kisses my face all over, while one of the branches of the tree nearest to the wall peeps inside, as if the forest is trying to reach out . Other than that, he loves to read, write, work-out and be helpful to others whenever HE can.”
